James Nicoll Reviews

L. Sprague de Camp’s 1953 The Continent Makers is a collection of his early Viagens Interplanetarias stories.

In the wake of World War Three, Brazil became Earth’s foremost power¹. Thus, it fell to Brazil to deliver relativistic star flight. First contact with the surprisingly large number of alien civilizations in neighboring star systems was followed by the formation of the Interplanetary Council.

Why was the Interplanetary Council needed, when contact, being sublight, was a matter of years and decades? In part, so that technologically backward, aggressive cultures do not get their hands on starships and nuclear weapons. However, there is another consideration.

Let us discuss Planets of Hats.

Humans might say the Osirians were sentimentalist hypnotists, the Krishnans colorful barbarians, the Kukulkanians steam age dinosaurs, the Thothians amoral, the Ormazdians are ant-people, and so on and so forth. The aliens might respond that humans come in three basic flavours: conmen, dupes, and the officials who try to protect the second from the first.

De Camp wanted to write planetary romances, but for reasons of plausibility, he set his stories outside the Solar System². As he did not believe that FTL is possible, all travel is by stupendously relativistic star travel, the details of which he did not dwell upon.

By the 21^st Century, Earth appears to have a world government (with some odd, highly plot relevant, legal details), a global economy with no notable highs and lows, a reasonably common global culture that would not particularly alarm American readers of the 1950s, global integration that might alarm American readers of the 1950s, and nothing in particular beyond the use of Portuguese to reflect a specifically Brazilian approach to the above. All of the ​“football”, for example, is American football. In fact, at no point do any of the characters mention the Maracanazo3.

As for the stories themselves…

Perhaps because de Camp, at least subconsciously, understood the setting to be a bit absurd, the stories themselves are generally comedic… which doesn’t mean people can’t die, just that most of the events surrounding their deaths will lean funny or at least absurd. To facilitate the comedy, the characters are an assortment of glib conmen, the sincerely foolish, and the occasional reasonable person bewildered as why they are so outnumbered by the first two categories.

De Camp also indulges in the occasional risqué moment, particularly where the extremely humanoid Krishnans are concerned. Modern readers should not get their hope up for salacious entertainment, unless they first set their expectations for ​“salacious by the standards of Eisenhower-era Astounding,” which is to say not even as steamy as Thorne Smith.

I believe The Continent Makers is out of print. I did see a Kindle UK edition but A: I don’t link to Amazon, and B: the publisher, Gollancz, cited does not list The Continent Makers on their site.

Unless otherwise noted, all contents are by de Camp.

“In Re Sprague” • (1953) • essay by Isaac Asimov

A short, glowing tribute to de Camp by the then-cherubic Isaac Asimov.

“Author’s Note (The Continent Makers and Other Tales of the Viagens)” • (1953) • essay

A few brief notes on the setting.

“The Inspector’s Teeth” • (1950) • short story

What will sway the Osirian ambassador to agree to Earth’s terms regarding the formation of the Interplanetary Council? China’s representative asserts logical materialism must win, thus there will be no Council. In fact, the ambassador has an agenda all his own, one he is happy to explain at length.

It begins with a humble Osirian — the Ambassador himself — pledging to a Terrestrial university fraternity…

They just don’t write university frat pledge stories like this anymore. Still, I bet I could come up with five stories about aliens joining Earth university frats if I tried hard.

“Summer Wear” • (1950) • short story

Ambitious salesmen set off for Osiris (orbiting Procyon) to see just what sort of high fashion can be sold to emotionally volatile, moderately hypnotic dinosaurs.

Star travel seems to be astonishingly cheap. The protagonists aren’t quite travelling salesmen, but still, the economics of jaunting eleven light-years in search of profits that cannot materialize for home office back on Earth for at least twenty-two years is unclear.

“Finished” • (1949) • short story

Ferrian bad-Arjanaq, Prince of Sotaspé, has a cunning plan to evade the Council’s ban on selling high tech to technologically backward Krishna. His plan fails… but it gives him an even better idea, one about which the off-worlders can do nothing.

De Camp spotted one of obvious flaws in the technological blockage this early… and then didn’t really do much with this particular Chekov’s gun.

I am very curious as to what would happen a couple of centuries down the road, when Krishna, Kukulkan, and the other embargoed worlds had caught up with Earth and Osiris.

The Galton Whistle • (1951) • novelette

Adrian Frome undoes the schemes of a fellow human determined to convert Vishnu’s native centauroids to a cult. The explorer even saves the girl! But there’s an unseen danger he does not perceive until it is nearly too late.

“The Animal-Cracker Plot” • (1949) • short story 

What dastardly scheme brought interplanetary con-man visionary entrepreneur Darius Koshay to Vishnu, and what role, exactly, do animal crackers play in said scheme?

“Git Along!” • (1950) • short story

Unjustly targeted for prosecution over the trifling matter of overenthusiastic prospectus for a new company, interplanetary con-man visionary entrepreneur Darius Koshay does what any honest interplanetary con-man visionary entrepreneur would do: he steals both Moritz Gloppenheimer’s identity and Moritz Gloppenheimer’s truly inspired plan to open a dude ranch on Orisis. Koshay’s plan omits two complications: that an angry Gloppenheimer might follow him to Orisis, or that a beautiful dinosauroid maiden might fall hopelessly in love with hideous Earth primate Koshay.

Gloppenheimer isn’t just German, but a very fat German about whom Koshay thinks unkind thoughts. Gloppenheimer also had a legitimately creative idea, which is more than Koshay can say for himself.

Perpetual Motion • (1950) • novella

Interplanetary con-man visionary entrepreneur Felix Borel sets out to sell the gullible Krishnans the means by which they can catch up technologically with Earth. His plan fails to take into account certain details of the local culture… but at least he has a convincing argument to escape the charge of violating the IC embargo.

One has to admire the audacity of a criminal whose defense against charges of violating the embargo is that he was defrauding the client.

The Continent Makers • (1951) • novella

Geophysicist Gordon Graham must save the Gamanovia Project — the scheme to safely raise a new continent in the South Atlantic — from the machinations of dastardly plotters, and rescue a beautiful alien princess in the process!

The plot turns on certain curious compromises made to convince Earth’s nation states to sign on with the World Federation. For example, immigration is still a national affair and there are odd and extremely plot-friendly anomalies concerning land ownership.

1: A fine place to insert ​“USA delenda est,” except that the USA was reduced but not destroyed. The Soviet Union, however, was annihilated. At least one blurb on the back cover suggested that China was much reduced as well, but this is not reflected in the stories.

2: Mars and Venus are life-bearing but also kept off-stage, as far as I can tell.

3: I do hope that the Uruguay v Brazil 1950 FIFA World Cup is not as relevant to the Canadian federal election as I am afraid it might be.

Added April 30^th: It wasn’t! I embrace the chance to be disappointed by my government, rather than horrified.