Ghost In Your Arms
Topper —
Thorne Smith
Topper, book 1

Thorne Smith’s 1926 supernatural farce Topper is the first (and best) of two Topper novels.
Many would say that middle-aged Cosmo Topper has a perfect life. Marriage, job, life in the suburbs, pet cat: Cosmo has it all. If he were not far too repressed to be honest, Cosmo would explain that he feels crushed under the weighty bricks of conformity. Even the simple pleasures he might otherwise enjoy are robbed of their joy by the context in which he experiences them.
Cosmo does what so many middle-aged men have done in his position: he buys a flashy car. The car used to belong to George and Marion Kerby, who lived the scandalous life Cosmo might have lived had he not feared the disapproval of society and his long-suffering wife. Cosmo can at least have their car, rebuilt after the wreck that ended the Kerbys’ lives.
To
Cosmo’s tremendous surprises, he gets the Kerbys as well. Or at
least their ghosts.
Too obsessed with earthly delights to head off into whatever afterlife waits (and not much interested in doing so), the Kerbys enjoy their afterlife in much the same way they did their life: drinking, partying, and wild disregard for social niceties. Amused by Cosmo, they include him in their hijinks, at the cost of his social standing and Mrs. Topper’s regard. While the inevitable court appearance is not to Cosmo’s taste, it’s clear he’s not entirely unhappy with the new lifestyle the Kerbys are inflicting upon him.
Awkwardly half-infatuated with Marion when she was alive, Cosmo is almost immediately smitten with his newly deceased Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Convinced that death has left her a single woman, Marion is happy being the focus of Cosmo’s attention. A series of madcap adventures follows, as Marion and Cosmo drink their way across America.
The fly in the ointment? Marion’s husband George claims that as they died simultaneously, death did not part them; they are still married, As far as he is concerned, Marion is not a free woman. Bad news for Cosmo, the focus of George’s homicidal ire…
~oOo~
Thorne Smith’s popularity fell off a cliff round about the time that a Del Rey reprint series introduced him to me. Perhaps this is because his plots are alcohol-fueled. Drunk driving had become distinctly unfunny by the 1980s. Before 1980 Thorne Smith works like Topper and Turnabout were still getting the occasional TV adaptation. After 1980 Smith and his works fell into obscurity.
The
book shows its age in other ways. Cosmo off-handed contemplates
engaging in domestic abuse as a fix for his marital problems. There
are also passages like
Stevens’ mind was so tolerant that he could have attended a lynching every day without becoming critical.
This gives us an unwelcome hint as to what sort of pastimes white Americans enjoyed in the 1920s. Well, at least Cosmo isn’t particularly hostile to African Americans — perhaps because he only ever encounters them as self-effacing servants.
Something I noticed on this reread: eyes. Scary eyes. As, for instance, the eyes of his cat.
This it was that gave Mr. Topper the shock. For the first time in their four years of companionable association Topper realised that the cat saw nothing, that is, nothing immediate. Although her yellow, searching gaze included him, it passed far beyond him down distant vistas from which he was excluded. Caressing and condoning on their way, Scollops’ eyes seemed to be roving through the ages, dwelling on appalling mysteries with the reminiscent indulgence of a satiated goddess.
Looking into Scollops’ eyes, Mr. Topper discovered that there were things he did not know, colours of life beyond his comprehension, impulses alien to his reason.
That passage borders on the Lovecraftian. Later passages are little better.
Suddenly Mr. Topper realised what was troubling him. It was eyes. Old familiar eyes. He felt that he knew them all. He knew the eyes at the office, from the president’s to the elevator boy’s. It was surprising, he thought, how desperately well he knew eyes. Mr. Topper saw eyes. Mr. Topper understood them.
Cosmo’s boss is also an eye-watcher.
The president was an old man, and, like Topper, he had grown weary from watching eyes. He had peered into them for more than half a century . . . too deeply.
One does not need Cosmic Beings to hint at existential horror. Everyday life can do the trick.
This would have been an entirely different fantasy novel if Topper and his wife had consulted a marriage counselor (assuming that such existed then). Or even if the pair had ever dared speak frankly to each other. Mrs. Topper does not get as much attention as Cosmo (nor, as far as I can tell, a first name of her very own), but their joint quest for perfect conformity has left her as miserable as Cosmo. More so, in fact, because her approach to life requires her to be unhappy. Cosmo vaguely senses that something is off-kilter with his life, but Mrs. Topper is well aware that things have gone awry.
Mrs. Topper buried her face in her hands and presently tears trickled through her fingers. “Why am I this way?” she whispered. “I don’t want to be. I don’t mean to be.
Unfortunately for Mrs. Topper, she is not the protagonist and so she does not get a scantily clad zany guide out of her dreary life. While her husband is off cavorting with a much younger woman, Mrs. Topper is left to deal with her issues on her own, with only a pair of scandalously sheer panties as a signpost towards the person she would prefer to be. Which, by the way, she manages.
I find myself less sympathetic towards poor old Cosmo than I was almost forty years ago. Also less interested in the book, which meanders into its third quarter. Still, this is the Thorne Smith novel, the one that inspired movies and TV shows. If you are a literary anthropologist, or just curious, this is the place to begin.
Topper is available is available here (Amazon) and here (Chapters-Indigo).
Review Categories
- Rediscovery Tuesday (42)
- Translation (123)
- Because My Tears Are Delicious To You (202)
- 50 Nortons in 50 Weeks (50)
- The Great Heinlein Juveniles (Plus The Other Two) Reread (14)
- KW Science Fiction and Fantasy (3)
- Special Requests (192)
- Miscellaneous Reviews (206)
- Women of Wonder (6)
- Leigh Brackett's Solar System (7)
- Military Speculative Fiction That Doesn't Suck (32)
- Graveyard Orbits (4)
- James Tiptree, Jr. Award (9)
- A Year of Tanith Lee (61)
- Not Actually A Review (1)
- Space Opera That Doesn't Suck (10)
- A Year of Waterloo Region Speculative Fiction (49)
- The 2017 Prometheus Award Finalists (4)
- Reds Under The Bed (5)
- Twelve by Diana Wynne Jones (4)
- A Dozen by Tchaikovsky (4)
- A Bunch of Bujolds (4)
- A Variety of Vaughns (3)
- An Expanse of Coreys (1)
By Author/Editor
- Aaronovitch, Ben (1)
- Abbas, Ibraheem (1)
- Abrahams, Kyria (1)
- Achebe, Chinua (1)
- Addison, Katherine (1)
- Aldiss, Brian (1)
- Amano, Kozue (14)
- Anderson, Chester (1)
- Anderson, Poul (6)
- Anderson, R. J. (2)
- Andrews, Ilona (1)
- Anthony, Patricia (1)
- Anthony, Piers (2)
- Arakawa, Hiromu (4)
- Archer, Katrina (1)
- Arnason, Eleanor (1)
- Ashby, Madeline (2)
- Ashinano, Hitoshi (20)
- Ashwin, Kate (2)
- Asimov, Isaac (5)
- Atwood, Margaret (1)
- Bahjatt, Yasser (1)
- Bailey, Charles W. (1)
- Bailley, Samantha (1)
- Baker, Mishell (1)
- Banks, Iain M. (1)
- Barnes, Steven (3)
- Barnett, Lisa A. (1)
- Bayley, Barrington J. (1)
- Bear, Elizabeth (1)
- Benford, Gregory (2)
- Bester, Alfred (1)
- Beukes, Lauren (1)
- Binder, Eando (1)
- Blair, Kate (1)
- Blish, James (1)
- Bobet, Leah (1)
- Bois, Jon (1)
- Boucher, Anthony (1)
- Bova, Ben (1)
- Bow, Erin (2)
- Bow, James (2)
- Brackett, Leigh (9)
- Bradbury, Ray (1)
- Bray, Libba (1)
- Brennan, Marie (1)
- Brennan, Sarah Ree (1)
- Bretnor, Reginald (1)
- Brissett, Jennifer Marie (1)
- Broaddus, Maurice (1)
- Brookmyre, Christopher (1)
- Brown, Rosel George (1)
- Brunner, John (5)
- Brust, Steven (2)
- Buckell, Tobias (2)
- Buckley, Bob (1)
- Bujold, Lois McMaster (5)
- Burgess, Anthony (1)
- Busby, F. M. (2)
- Butler, Octavia E. (7)
- Campbell, John W. (1)
- Čapek, Karel (1)
- Capon, Paul (1)
- Card, Melanie (1)
- Card, Orson Scott (1)
- Carey, Jacqueline (2)
- Carr, John F. (1)
- Carter, Raphael (1)
- Castellucci, Cecil (1)
- Chambers, Becky (2)
- Chandler, A. Bertram (1)
- Charnas, Suzy McKee (1)
- Chen, Curtis C. (1)
- Cherryh, C.J. (7)
- Cho, Zen (4)
- Christie, Agatha (1)
- Chu, Wesley (1)
- Church, Suzanne (2)
- Clarke, Arthur C. (2)
- Clarke, Cassandra Rose (1)
- Clarke, Neil (1)
- Clayton, Jo (5)
- Clee, Mona (1)
- Clement, Hal (1)
- Clement, Jermaine (1)
- Cole, Dandridge M. (1)
- Comité Colbert (1)
- Coney, Michael G. (1)
- Connolly, Harry (3)
- Consell, Ryan (1)
- Cook, Glen (1)
- Corey, James S. A. (1)
- Cox, Donald W (1)
- Crain William (1)
- Crewe, Megan (1)
- Ctein (1)
- Czerneda, Julia E. (2)
- Daniel, Tony (1)
- Daniels, April (2)
- Darnay, Arsen (1)
- Daven, Kit (2)
- Davin, Eric Leif (1)
- de Bodard, Aliette (7)
- de Camp, L. Sprague (2)
- Dean, Paul (1)
- Deighton, Len (1)
- Delany, Samuel R. (4)
- Dentinger, Jane (1)
- Dickson, Gordon R. (1)
- Dillon, Diane (1)
- Dillon, Leo (1)
- Doctorow, Corey (1)
- Downum, Amanda (1)
- Doyle, Debra (1)
- Drake, David (1)
- Draper, Terry (1)
- Drye, Paul (1)
- Duane, Diane (1)
- Due, Tananarive (1)
- Dumas, Alexandre (1)
- Dunlop, Eileen (1)
- Dunyach, Jean-Claude (1)
- Duyvis, Corinne (1)
- Dyson, George (1)
- Editor, A.N. (1)
- Edmondson, G.C. (2)
- Eisenstein, Phyllis (2)
- Elliott, Kate (1)
- Engdahl, Sylvia Louise (1)
- Engel, Marian (1)
- Ernst, Paul (1)
- Estes, Eleanor (1)
- Fakhouri, Anne (1)
- Faust, Minister (1)
- Ford, John M. (2)
- Forstchen, William R. (1)
- Foster, Alan Dean (2)
- Foster, M.A. (1)
- Frank, Pat (1)
- Frankel, Jen (1)
- Frey, J. M. (2)
- Frezza, Robert (1)
- Fujii, Taiyo (2)
- Gardner, James Alan (2)
- Gentle, Mary (2)
- Gerrold, David (3)
- Gilliland, Alexis A. (1)
- Gilman, Charlotte Perkins (1)
- Gilman, Felix (1)
- Gilman, Laura Anne (1)
- Gladstone, Max (4)
- Goldenberg, Alisse Lee (1)
- Gorodischer, Angélica (1)
- Goto, Hiromi (1)
- Gould, Steven (2)
- Graham, Jo (5)
- Grant, Mira (1)
- Greenberg, Martin H. (1)
- Griffin, Kate (1)
- Griffith, Nicola (5)
- Grossman, Austin (1)
- Ha, Il-Kwon (1)
- Haldeman, Joe (2)
- Hamilton, Virginia (2)
- Hansen, Karl (1)
- Hardinge, Frances (1)
- Harris, Geraldine (1)
- Hawkins, Scott (1)
- Healy, Raymond J. (1)
- Heinlein, Robert A. (20)
- Helgadóttir, Margrét (1)
- Henderson, Zenna (1)
- Heppenheimer, T. A. (1)
- Herbert, Frank (1)
- Hernandez, Jaime (2)
- Hewitt, John (1)
- Heydt, Dorothy (1)
- Higgins, C.A. (1)
- Hiroe, Rei (1)
- Hogan, James P. (1)
- Hogarth, M. C. A. (1)
- Holmqvist, Ninni (1)
- Hoover, H.M. (1)
- Hopkinson, Nalo (1)
- Höst, Andrea K. (1)
- Howard, Kat (1)
- Howe, Grant (1)
- Hoyle, Fred (1)
- Hoyt, Richard (1)
- Huang, S.L. (4)
- Huff, Tanya (2)
- Hughes, Matthew (5)
- Hughes, Monica (1)
- Humphrey, Claire (1)
- Hurley, Kameron (2)
- Ibuse, Masuji (1)
- Ing, Dean (2)
- Ishiguro, Kazuo (1)
- Itäranta, Emmi (1)
- Jablokov, Alexander (1)
- Jackson, Shirley (2)
- Jacobs, Jane (1)
- Jacques, Jeph (1)
- Jemisin, N. K. (5)
- Johnson, Alaya Dawn (3)
- Johnson, Annabel (1)
- Johnson, Edgar (1)
- Johnson, Kij (1)
- Jones, Diana Wynne (2)
- Jones, Gwyneth (1)
- Jones, Heather Rose (2)
- Jones, Raymond F. (1)
- Juster, Norton (1)
- K.B. Wagers (1)
- Kahn, Herman (1)
- Kahn, Sherman (1)
- Kamachi, Kazuma (1)
- Kaplan, Fred (1)
- Kawahara, Reki (1)
- Kerr, Katharine (1)
- Key, Alexander (1)
- Keyes, Daniel (1)
- Khaw, Cassandra (1)
- Kidd, Virginia (1)
- Kiernan, Denise (1)
- Killough, Lee (3)
- King, Jasper MacDonald (1)
- King, Stephen (1)
- Kingfisher, T. (3)
- Kingsbury, Donald (1)
- Kinzie, Becka (2)
- Kirstein, Rosemary (4)
- Kishi, Yusuke (3)
- Knebel, Fletcher (1)
- Kohli, Armon Kishen (1)
- Kooiker, Leonie (1)
- Kornbluth, Cyril (2)
- Kotlan, C. M. (1)
- Krasnostein, Alisa (1)
- Kreider, Anna (2)
- Kuhn, Sarah (2)
- Kurland, Michael (1)
- Kushner, Ellen (1)
- L'Engle, Madeleine (1)
- Lafferty, Mur (1)
- Lagerlöf, Selma (1)
- Lake, David J. (1)
- Larbalestier, Justine (1)
- Laumer, Keith (2)
- Le Guin, Ursula K. (3)
- Leckie, Ann (1)
- Lee, Fonda (1)
- Lee, Sharon (2)
- Lee, Tanith (61)
- Lee, Yoon Ha (2)
- Leiber, Fritz (3)
- Lepore, Jill (1)
- Liang, William Tham Wai (1)
- Lindqvist, John Ajvide (1)
- Liu, Cixin (2)
- Liu, Ken (1)
- Llewellyn, Edward (1)
- Locke, M. J (1)
- Long, Dee (1)
- Lord, Karen (1)
- Lumpkin, John J. (1)
- Lynn, Elizabeth A. (3)
- MacAvoy, R.A. (1)
- MacDonald, James D. (1)
- MacDonald, John D. (1)
- MacGregor, Blair (1)
- MacLean, Katherine (2)
- MacLeod, Ken (1)
- Mahr, Kurt (1)
- Malan, Violette (1)
- Mamatas, Nick (1)
- Mandel, Emily St. John (1)
- Mankell, Henning (1)
- Mardoll, Ana (1)
- Marks, Laurie J (3)
- Martin, George R.R. (1)
- Martinson, Harry (1)
- Matronic, Ana (1)
- Mauméjean, Xavier (1)
- McCaffrey, Anne (1)
- McComas, J. Francis (1)
- McDonald, Ian (1)
- McDuffie, Dwayne (1)
- McGuire, Seanan (1)
- McHugh, Maureen F. (1)
- McIntyre, Vonda N. (3)
- McKillip, Patricia A. (2)
- McLachlan, J. A. (1)
- McMullen, Sean (1)
- McPhee, John (1)
- Meredith, Richard C. (1)
- Merle, Robert (1)
- Merril, Judith (2)
- Mighton, John (1)
- Miller, Mark (1)
- Miller, Steve (2)
- Miller, Walter M., Jr. (1)
- Mitchison, Naomi (1)
- Miyabe, Miyuki (1)
- Moffitt, Donald (1)
- Mohanraj, Mary Anne (1)
- Moon, Elizabeth (1)
- Moorcock, Michael (1)
- Moore, C.L. (5)
- Moore, Moira J (1)
- Moran, Daniel Keyes (3)
- Moreno-Garcia, Silvia (5)
- Morganfield, T.L. (1)
- Mori, Kaoru (5)
- Morinaga, Milk (1)
- Morressy, John (1)
- Mulholland, Tony (1)
- Murphy, Pat (2)
- Nagata, Linda (7)
- Nakazato, Yuka (1)
- Nakazawa, Keiji (1)
- Narita, Ryogho (1)
- Neil Randall (1)
- Newhall, Scott (1)
- Newman, Emma (4)
- Nicholson, Sam (1)
- Nickle, David (1)
- Niven, Larry (8)
- North, Claire (1)
- Norton, Andre (50)
- Nourse, Alan E. (1)
- Novik, Naomi (1)
- O'Donnell, Kevin (1)
- O'Malley, Daniel (1)
- O'Neal, Kathleen M. (1)
- Ogawa, Yoko (1)
- Ohno, Kaoru (1)
- Okorafor, Nnedi (2)
- Ōkouchi, Ichirō (1)
- Ono, Fuyumi (2)
- Ore, Rebecca (1)
- Orwell, George (1)
- Otsuichi (1)
- Palwick, Susan (2)
- Pangborn, Edgar (1)
- Panshin, Alexei (1)
- Paquet, Olivier (1)
- Parker, K.J. (4)
- Patel, Carrie (1)
- Penn, Richard (2)
- Pérez-Reverte, Arturo (1)
- Perrin, Steve (1)
- Phillips, Julie (1)
- Phondke, Bal (1)
- Pierce, Alexandra (1)
- Piper, H. Beam (4)
- Piserchia, Doris (1)
- Pohl-Weary, Emily (1)
- Pohl, Carol (1)
- Pohl, Frederik (5)
- Posey, Jay (1)
- Pournelle, Jerry (4)
- Powers, Tim (1)
- Rakunas, Adam (2)
- Rasmussen, Alis A. (1)
- Rey, Alain (1)
- Reynolds, Alastair (2)
- Rhodes, Richard (1)
- Ricci-Thode, Vanessa (1)
- Rivas, Roque (1)
- Roberts, Adam (1)
- Robinett, Stephen (1)
- Robinson, Frank M. (1)
- Robinson, Kim Stanley (1)
- Rowland, Diana (6)
- Ruff, Matt (1)
- Russ, Joanna (1)
- Russell, Eric Frank (2)
- Ryan, Thomas J. (1)
- Sagan, Carl (1)
- Saito, Chiho (2)
- Sakai, Stan (2)
- Sakuraba, Kazuki (2)
- Samatar, Sofia (1)
- Sanders, B.R. (1)
- Sandford, John (1)
- Sargent, Pamela (9)
- Satifka, Erika L. (1)
- Saunders, Charles R. (1)
- Saunders, Graydon (3)
- Sawyer, Robert J. (1)
- Scalzi, John (3)
- Schoen, Lawrence M. (1)
- Scortia, Thomas N. (1)
- Scott, Melissa (11)
- Shaw, Bob (2)
- Shawl, Nisi (1)
- Sheckley, Robert (1)
- Sheffield, Charles (1)
- Shelby, L. (3)
- Shelley, Mary Wollstonecraft (1)
- Shinkai, Makoto (1)
- Shiras, Wilmar H. (1)
- Shirow, Masamune (2)
- Shriver, Lionel (1)
- Shunn, William (1)
- Shusterman, Neal (1)
- Shute, Nevil (1)
- Silverberg, Robert (1)
- Simak, Clifford D. (2)
- Simukka, Salla (3)
- Sinisalo, Johanna (1)
- Slonczewski, Joan (1)
- Smith, E.E. (1)
- Smith, Evelyn E. (1)
- Smith, George O. (1)
- Smith, Kristine (3)
- Smith, L. Neil (3)
- Smith, Sherwood (2)
- Smith, Thorne (1)
- Snyder, Zilpha Keatley (1)
- Solnit, Rebecca (1)
- Spangler, K.B. (6)
- Spencer, Wen (2)
- Spinrad, Norman (1)
- Sprange, Matthew (1)
- Springer, Nancy (1)
- St. Clair, Margaret (2)
- Steinmetz, Ferrett (3)
- Stephenson, Neal (1)
- Sterzinger, Ann (1)
- Stiles, Paula R. (1)
- Stine, G. Harry (1)
- Strugatsky, Arkady (2)
- Strugatsky, Boris (2)
- Sucharitkul, Somtow (1)
- Sullivan, Tricia (2)
- Sutcliff, Rosemary (1)
- Tan, Charles (1)
- Tanaka, Yoshiki (3)
- Tanigawa, Nagaru (3)
- Taniguchi, Gorō (1)
- Tanzer, Molly (1)
- Tarr, Judith (1)
- Tchaikovsky, Adrian (1)
- Teitel, Amy Shira (1)
- Tepper, Sheri S. (1)
- Thomas, Jo (1)
- Thomas, Sheree R. (1)
- Thompson, Tade (1)
- Tiptree, James (3)
- Tolmie, Sarah (3)
- Touno, Mamare (1)
- Trowbridge, Dave (1)
- Turner, Megan Whalen (5)
- Turney, Ray (1)
- Valentine, Genevieve (1)
- van de Wetering, Janwillem (1)
- Varley, John (2)
- Vaughn, Carrie (2)
- Vinge, Joan D. (5)
- Vinge, Vernor (1)
- Volsky, Paula (3)
- Vonarburg, Élisabeth (1)
- Wachowski, Andy (1)
- Wachowski, Lana (1)
- Wagers, K. B. (1)
- Waititi, Taika (1)
- Waldrop, Howard (1)
- Wallis, James (1)
- Walton, Jo (1)
- Warren, Adam (1)
- Washington, Masumi (1)
- Watkins, Peter (1)
- Wayne, Jeff (1)
- Weir, Andy (1)
- Wells, Alex (1)
- Wells, Jeffrey (1)
- Wells, Martha (9)
- White, James (4)
- Wilde, Fran (1)
- Wilhelm, Kate (1)
- Williams, Kass (1)
- Williams, Liz (2)
- Williams, Walter Jon (1)
- Williamson, Jack (2)
- Willis. Connie (1)
- Wilson, F. Paul (1)
- WIlson, Kai Ashante (2)
- Wintrebert, Joëlle (1)
- Wolfrom, Regan (1)
- Wollheim, Donald A. (1)
- Woloschuk, John (1)
- Wren, M.K. (3)
- Yakimura, Makoto (1)
- Yang, JY (3)
- Yatsuhashi, Keith (1)
- Yoshiura, Yasuhiro (1)
- Yuki, Hiroshi (1)
- Zelazny, Roger (3)
Reviews by Date
2018
- April 2018 (18)
- March 2018 (21)
- February 2018 (20)
- January 2018 (23)
2017
- December 2017 (21)
- November 2017 (22)
- October 2017 (22)
- September 2017 (22)
- August 2017 (23)
- July 2017 (21)
- June 2017 (21)
- May 2017 (22)
- April 2017 (21)
- March 2017 (21)
- February 2017 (19)
- January 2017 (23)
2016
- December 2016 (21)
- November 2016 (21)
- October 2016 (22)
- September 2016 (22)
- August 2016 (22)
- July 2016 (22)
- June 2016 (20)
- May 2016 (23)
- April 2016 (21)
- March 2016 (21)
- February 2016 (18)
- January 2016 (22)
2015
- December 2015 (28)
- November 2015 (29)
- October 2015 (29)
- September 2015 (29)
- August 2015 (28)
- July 2015 (28)
- June 2015 (28)
- May 2015 (28)
- April 2015 (26)
- March 2015 (29)
- February 2015 (24)
- January 2015 (25)
2014
- December 2014 (25)
- November 2014 (26)
- October 2014 (27)
- September 2014 (24)
- August 2014 (23)
- July 2014 (11)
- June 2014 (8)
- May 2014 (4)
- April 2014 (2)
He's a wonderful author, and out of copyright in Europe - I was going to write an RPG based on the books, but there were too many problems with American copyright so it never happened. As part of the process I did scan and put all of the books on my web site, including the detective novel, but don't look if you're in the USA!
http://forgottenfutures.co.uk/smith/smith.htm
They're also on Gutenberg Australia in more formats.