The Last Time
The Man Who Was Secrett and Other Stories
By John Brunner
31 Dec, 2024
John Brunner’s 2013 The Man Who Was Secrett and Other Stories is a collection of short stories, most of which feature Mr. Secrett, librarian for Royal Society for Applied Linguistics. Except as otherwise noted, all contents are by John Brunner.
The shape of the stories is consistent: long-suffering writer-for-hire Scrivener, whose career tumbles down a long flight of stairs over the course of the collection, encounters Mr. Secrett, either in the RSAL library or elsewhere. Mr. Secrett entertains — or perhaps horrifies — Scrivener with some anecdote from Secrett’s colorful past. Scrivener is better informed but almost never happier.
These aren’t bar stories, but I suspect the White Hart’s Harry Purvis would find a kindred spirit in Mr. Secrett. Secrett has enjoyed an eventful life; he has encountered many unusual and unexpected phenomena, all of which he is more than happy to share with a receptive (or at least captive) audience.
Secrett’s favorite audience is the unhappy Scrivener. Scrivener is a professional writer, very often a ghost-writer working for a disappointing client, Mr. Laszlo Perkins1 (who prefers not to pay his full bill if he can avoid it), at the behest of an agent who clearly does not have Scrivener’s well-being at heart. Scrivener’s situation is increasingly grim over the course of the series. One wonders to what extent Brunner drew from real life when he created Scrivener.
Taken on their own, the Secrett stories are amusing little horror stories. Collected together… well, they make a good case for the value of caution in one’s research sources, not to mention a grim warning for anyone planning on writing for a living. You may not be as lucky as Scrivener! And Scrivener was not lucky at all.
Secrett is a suitable work on which to finish Shockwave Reader — and so I shall. I hope you folks have enjoyed it.
The Man Who Was Secrett and Other Stories is available here (Amazon US), here (Amazon Canada), here (Amazon UK), and here (Ramble House) but The Man Who Was Secrett is not available from Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Chapters-Indigo, or Words Worth Books.
Details, details.
The Man Who Wrote Marvels • essay by John Pelan
An essay discussing the Secrett stories and the genesis of this collection.
The Man Who Could Provide Us with Elephants • [Mr. Secrett] • (1977) • novelette
Ordered to construct an airfield under nearly impossible conditions, a young Mr. Secrett and his fellow British soldiers are forced to rely on African wiseman Edusu’s rather unorthodox solution to the labor issue.
I know I call these horror stories, but in this case, the motivational secret is employed by Edusu as humanely as possible. It’s Mr. Secrett who later steps over a line.
The Man Who Understood Carboniferous Flora • [Mr. Secrett] • (1978) • short story
What dreadful hypothesis ended a promising scientist’s career, decades ago?
The Man Whose Eyes Beheld the Glory • [Mr. Secrett] • (1980) • short story
Revered as a Christian saint, St. Theodoula may have turned to a decidedly non-Christian means to protect her island. Investigate at your own risk.
The Man with a God That Worked • [Mr. Secrett] • (1980) • short story
If there were a very real god with very real powers, should a prudent man appeal to that god? Or would it just end in tears?
The Man Who Saw the Thousand-Year Reich • [Mr. Secrett] • (1981) • novelette
A Nazi is presented with a vision of the world to come, much to his displeasure.
I think this is the only Secrett I had previously encountered, in The Best of John Brunner.
The Man Who Made the Fur Fly • [Mr. Secrett] • (1985) • novelette
The tale of a marvelous fur coat with a decidedly un-marvelous price tag.
The Man Who Was a Legend in His Own Time • [Mr. Secrett] • (1986) • short story
Actors in a production of Hamlet reenact an ancient tale… but not Hamlet’s.
The Man with a Taste for Turkeys • [Mr. Secrett] • (1989) • novelette
Why are there so many terrible movies?
The Man Who Lost the Game of Life • [Mr. Secrett] • (1992) • short story
The unfortunate Scrivener discovers how Secrett landed his current position… but not in time to escape the same fate for himself.
The Pronounced Effect • (1990) • novelette
A timid, diligent woman defends her father’s extraordinary research against an utter cad of a rival far more effectively than she expected, thanks to an assist from an unexpected ally.
They Take • (1992) • novelette
A very unpleasant story about a foolish couple encountering a community of pure evil.
I’d recommend skipping this one.
1: Is Perkins based on someone in particular? Or was he inspired by a certain sort of client?